Book Review: 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do

Author: Amy Morin

It is one of the most useful books I ever read. I get a few questions on Quora on how to become mentally strong. But I never had clarity on it. I did not know what constitutes mental strength. When I observed people, I found a few kids who are mentally strong already and I noticed adults who have struggled all their life but are still mentally weak. So I knew somewhere that it had to do with attitude of adults towards their lives but that theory did not fit in when it came to kids. This book gave me clarity that mental strength comes naturally to a few and others can learn it too.

The author was not naturally blessed with mental strength. She had been hit by life over and again. That is when she learnt how to be mentally strong. If she could do it, it gave me confidence that I can do it too.

Before starting off with the 13 things to avoid, she mentions the common myths people have about mental strength. I cleared the misconceptions I had about mental strength.

Each chapter is structured in a perfect way to drive the point home. It starts with an example to set context. Then you find a list of characteristics of the person who possesses that bad habit. And then through examples, she explains why they are bad. Finally, she summarizes the solutions. If you think you don’t have enough time, just identify the bad habits with the help of first list and correct them using the concluding list of each chapter of the book.

13 things mentally strong people don’t do:

1.       They don’t waste time feeling sorry for themselves

2.      They don’t give away their power

3.      They don’t shy away from change

4.      They don’t focus on things they can’t control

5.      They don’t worry about pleasing everyone

6.      They don’t fear taking calculated risks

7.      They don’t dwell on the past

8.     They don’t make the same mistakes over and over

9.      They don’t resent other people’s success

10.  They don’t give up after the first failure

11.   They don’t fear alone time

12.  They don’t feel the world owes them anything

13.  They don’t expect immediate results

How to use this book?

You can give it a reading to understand what mental strength is all about. I had the misconception that mental strength was a rocket science and it is not possible for everyone to achieve the same. If you also have any such wrong notions, you will get clarity. At the start of each chapter, there is a list of characteristics mentioned to know if you are doing those mistakes. During the first reading itself, you can tick the bad habits you possess. After assessing yourself on the 13 habits, look at the one where you have maximum score. That is the habit you are going to target first. Now re-read that chapter and make a list of things which you can implement to be stronger. Follow those steps religiously for a month. There you are one step closer to being mentally strong. Do the same exercise for the remaining 12 habits too. In 13 months, you are mentally stronger than what you were before. In case you find yourself relapsing, repeat the exercise till it becomes a natural thing for you.

Happy becoming mentally stronger!